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How to Play Go, Ash, Go!

Game inspired by and as seen in THE GRUMPY PLAYER NEXT DOOR

GO, ASH, GO! Extended Rules

Goal: Be the last person standing, preferably with Ash in your hand, and if not, the person with the highest Fireball level!

There are four mascots trying to knock Ash the Baby Dragon mascot off the baseball diamond during a rousing game of Race to Home between innings, and only Fiery, two small fans, and Uncle Thrusty (the Copper Valley Thrusters hockey team’s mascot) stand between them and Ash.


15 playing cards

4 breakdown cards

1 overall rules cards


Shuffle the deck and deal each player a single card. (You can look at your own card, but don’t let anyone else see!)

Who goes first? The first person to sing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame.”

What do they do on their turn? Draw a card and play one of the two cards in their hand, following the instructions on the card they play.

If you get called out for any reason, you’re eliminated from the game.

The game ends either when all but one player has been called out, or after the player to draw the last card from the deck has taken their turn, at which point all players immediately show their remaining card. Whoever has the card with the highest Fireball level wins.

If Ash is discarded for any reason, the player who played her is out, and all remaining players immediately show their hands to determine who has the highest Fireball level.

The last player standing wins (and we really hope it’s Ash so that she can cross home plate first!).


MEATY (Worth 1 Fireball): Impervious to fire since he’s already flaming, but not really sure whose team he’s on, so he keeps yelling different names just because. Guess which card another player has in his/her hand. If you’re right, they’re out! (And you can’t guess Meaty, because he doesn’t realize there are more than one of him.) (There are four of these because Meaty had an unfortunate encounter with a chef right before the game.)

PIRATE MEATY (Worth 1 Fireball): Can’t see well out of only one eye, since he’s a meatball and can’t see well with both eyes either. Bumps into the competition. Everyone passes the card in their hand to the player to their left.

VAMPIRE MEATY (Worth 1 Fireball): Gets confused thinking it’s Halloween. Uses this to his advantage, baring his vampire teeth and scaring another player. Pick one player to lose a turn.

ASTRONAUT MEATY (Worth 1 Fireball): Though it was Career Dress Up Day. Can’t see through his helmet. Sits out the next round while maintenance helps him out of it. Lose a turn, but also, you’re impervious to the effects of all other cards (including Firequacker) until the beginning of your next turn.

GLOW (Worth 2 Fireballs): Lights up his butt to blind the competition. Trade cards with another player. (There are three Glows because he was born in a cluster of like 100 Firefly siblings, and sometimes, he asks one of them to stand in for mascot duties. Shh. It’s a secret.)

SPIKE (Worth 3 Fireballs): Throw quills off his back. Pick two players to trade hands (and yeah, you can totally pick yourself as one of those players). Whoever has the card with the lowest Fireball value after the trade is out! If both players have matching Fireball values in their hands, the player who played Spike is out. (There are two Spikes because Regular Spike and Luau Spike had a never-ending game of rock-paper-scissors to decide who got to play today, and they ran out of time for an actual winner.)

Luau SPIKE (worth 3 Fireballs): Pouts because he wanted to make two players trade hands. Settles for making one player discard his or her hand and draw a new card instead, and yeah, you can pick yourself again.

FIREQUACKER (Worth 4 Fireballs): Flaps his wings and attacks field security. Firequacker now owns Duggan Field and demands that players don’t speak, but rather quack like ducks. Anyone who tries to say anything besides “QUACK” before the start of your next turn is out!

Small Child Fan (Worth 5 Fireballs): Joins in the running of the bases. Cannot be touched by the mascots, so you’re safe from harm (aka the effects of any other cards, including quacking) until the start of your next turn. (Two of these because the Fireballs ownership loves involving the fans, but doesn’t want too many fans involved for liability purposes.)

Uncle Thrusty (Worth 6 Fireballs): Likes to cause trouble. Shouldn’t even be at the ballpark since he’s the hockey team’s mascot. Gather everyone’s cards, including your own, shuffle them, and randomly redistribute without looking.

FIERY (Worth 7 Fireballs): Breathes fire. REALLY doesn’t like how this game is going. Has to be escorted to a different base if he gets too close to the Small Child Fans because of liability issues. If you have both Fiery and a Small Child in your hand, you must play Fiery. Randomly pull a card from the discard pile, and slide it wherever he wants into the draw pile. (You get to stay in the game but avoid small children, okay?)

ASH (Worth 8 Fireballs): Smiles and cheers for everyone. If you discard Ash for any reason, you’re eliminated from the game, and we’re all sad baby dragons. If Ash is discarded, all remaining players immediately show their cards, and the player with the highest Fireball level wins the race around the bases.

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